She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
