just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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