so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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