You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
