Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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