she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hippo gnu deer
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
