i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
