How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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