I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
