Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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