K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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