idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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