every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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