idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
