After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
