I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
