After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
