No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
