im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
