im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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