Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
