i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
