I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
