by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
