it hurts more in the daytime
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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