We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
