what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just threw up on my dentist
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
