Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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