You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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