i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
