i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
so let's talk penis.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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