Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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