hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Your dad touched me again.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Too much gin, very little bucket
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
