I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
