yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
