Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
