It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
