He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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