he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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