Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
