literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
