gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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