Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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