But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
