he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Can you bring me the toilet please
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
