After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize