his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
