Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
