I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
