It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
