There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
