As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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