Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
