try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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