And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
two words...techno handjob
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
