I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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