I wanna bring you to show and tell
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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