just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
