I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
