Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
