don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
