If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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