I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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